a part of me is gone

whenever i lost touch with one of them, i lost a part of me



thank GOD for new things to do. new things to work on & be busy with.. God seemed to have answer my outcry to Him. Show me your will and hide not your plans from me my GOD!



whenever i have new decision, the no.1 gives something that plainly does zilch value-add but create trouble and waste time for us - the rest of the world whom wish to put time in for work than for waste.



e.g. documenting every single task u complete. oh, one minute to type sms, one minute to open a document because the PC takes time to process the user input instruction.. is that going to count.



i feel so sorry when our people leave us. i mean leave me. yes we can always call each other, i have your hp. no.s yes i have your msn id(s) we can msn. yes i have your address , i can always email you.



BUT ..



no, we arent colleagues no longer. no, i can't spill to you what our crazy amusement park leader did to the park. no, i can't eat lunch and share the little sour sweet bitter spicy bits on my plate with you... things just arent the same anymore when we aren't working together under one amusement park leader/ studying together under one crazy school / serving in the same church ...



suddenly there are so many changes to my life (bits of my life) at once...



(1) i realise i only have one close friend. the rest are overseas, different frequency from me, too busy to be a close friend, changed over the time....



(2) i do not know what i wanted to do for a living (but friends and colleagues around me does)



(3) i told a gd friend cum boss something which upset him. but there s nothing i could do about it. seeing him so sad makes me feel sad n sorry. but i daren't say sorry, for i won't know what to do about my apology...

i guess.. when such things happen on me.. a part of me is chipped off...